In a nutshell
I started to write a long post, and then I realised I only really wanted to say one thing:
I’m scared, but I don’t think that’s necessarily something to be worried about.
Cissy M became a fan of OMGZZZZZ I hATe Fan Page’s!!!!!!!
Things which annoy me about Facebook fan pages:
1. Pages which don’t make sense within a sentence beginning ‘I am a fan of….’. For example: ‘I am a fan of train tickets cost too much!’.
2. Pages which do make sense with the sentence, but are negative things, like “Trying to hint something out to someone but the idiot doesn’t get it”. It makes sense, because you could be a fan of it, but that’s not what people mean when they join it.
3. Pages with grammar/spelling/format errors. There are the usual ones like “If Pubs Dont Serve Drunk People Why Do Mc’donalds Serve Fat People”. I don’t understand why people put capital letters at the beginning of every word. It takes more time! And where did they get their spelling of McDonald’s from? Did they just know there was an apostrophe in there somewhere?! There are worse mistakes, though, like “David Tennent is the best Doctor Who ever”. I don’t get how someone could go to the effort of making a fan page for a celebrity and then spell their name wrong!
4. People who are fans of everything, and then become fans of things like “Becoming a fan” (a fan page for people who enjoy becoming something which generates cold air), not realising that it’s a fan page making fun of them.
5. Too much information fan pages. Sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don’t, but they make you feel uncomfortable. One example is: ”Saying you’re okay but secretly knowing it’s killing you inside”, which is one of those cringeworthy pages that makes me want to scream at the laptop that if it’s so fucking bad CALL A FRIEND instead of broadcasting it to basically everyone you know! The other type is the sex-related ones, such as “Rough Sex”, which makes me feel grossed out, to be honest. Facebook is supposed to be fun, and maybe the people becoming a fan of these pages think it’s fun to tell a large group of people they know about their sexual preferences, but I don’t think it’s fun to read it!
Ten ways to get over an ex
1. Have exams. I’ve spent the last fortnight getting addicted to caffeine and revising romanticism (lame! apart from Blake, of course) planning essays about Shakespeare (Ophelia is going to be my new girlfriend).
2. Cut your hair. And dye it. I now have shorter hair and a fringe and a pink streak in it.
3. Get a new piercing. I have another one. Now I have eleven in my ears.
4. Buy new clothes. I have lots of dresses, and although I couldn’t afford them it makes me feel better. 
5. Read teen fiction. It’s easy to read, but at the same time Jacqueline Wilson can always remind you that other people’s lives can be worse than yours.
6. Watch so much Hustle that you want to become a con artist.
7. Spend time with your friends. I have some amazing friends that haven’t let me down.
8. Sing. At every opportunity. I can’t cry and sing at the same time.
9. Laugh. Sit with your legendary friend Liz and make badges out of heart shaped post-it notes and come up with your poet/rap star names.
10. Do things you weren’t ‘allowed’ to do when you were with the person. For me, this has involved buying floral patterned things, wearing clothes that don’t match and listening to Tori Amos and singing along out of tune.
Loving and Hurting
“Can you ever get past
The pain you go through
When you give all you can
And you can’t understand
Why your dream won’t come true?
It’s a one-sided romance
That you can’t undo
When you do all the loving
And the hurting too.”
All the Lovin’ and Hurtin’- Leann Rimes
Flowers
“The flowers you gave me are rotting and still I refuse to throw them away….
What I have loved I’m allowed to keep.”
- The Flowers- Regina Spektor
Relationship fail
Ceri broke up with me. I basically hate everything. I’m upset and I’m angry. The only way I can deal with it is to not think about it, because when I think about it I can’t cope.
I was so happy for most of it and I can’t imagine how my life is going to be in Swansea without her. 
“And I always say that I don’t need you but it’s always gonna come right back to this; please, don’t leave me.”
- Please Don’t Leave Me- Pink.
Busy!
I finished Nanowrimo last Sunday. I didn’t have a lot of free time in November, so I thought it would be a bit better when I finished Nanowrimo. It turns out that I’m just really busy at the moment.
I’m loving Uni and enjoying my course more than I ever have at the moment, but at the same time I’m very disillusioned by it. I’m kind of lucky in the sense that I don’t want to go straight into a job, but people graduating this year who aren’t are not in for an easy time. There are too many people at Uni, to the point that I think that getting a degree doesn’t count for as much as it used to. I don’t want to go into that though, because it’ll just make me feel all stressed about it again. It’s just making me busy, with Amnesty International Society stuff as well as work for my course.
I also have no money and no job to get money from, which is not cool.
Overall, though, I’m in a pretty good mood, as long as I ignore that worrying stuff!
Cissy M <3s
I love:
Ceri, my family, my friends, reading, writing, Scrabble, Virginia Woolf, shopping, Alanis Morissette, Harry Potter, comfortable clothes, pretty underwear, lie-ins, eating at resturants, drinking wine, cuddles, Regina Spektor, 90s cheesey pop bands, hummous, Bellatrix Lestrange, The Hours, Shakespeare, board games, the Muppets, Eddie Izzard, Tori Amos, Bad Girls, drinking until I enjoy R’n'B, Amnesty International, Crunchie Nut Clusters, Postsecret, Tipping the Velvet, Malibu and lemonade, gummy bears, not living at home, bright colours, talking, random singing, laughing, being inside when it’s raining, picnics, glitter, quiz shows, pink.
Remembrance
I’ve failed at Remembrance Day this year. I’ve been really busy and tired and stuff so I haven’t been able to get to a silence. I can already see the Daily Mail headline: Lesbian pacifist student layabout ‘too tired’ to honour dead soliders!’. No. I’ve been too busy/forgetful for sit still and quiet for two minutes, but I have thought.
For me, the most poigniant descriptions of the First World War come from the poetry. No one except those that were there can even begin to imagine what it was like, but the poetry gives us just a slice of how it felt to be those soliders.
And I do enjoy a bit of Wilfred Owen.
“Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.
Gas! Gas! Quick, boys!–An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound’ring like a man in fire or lime…
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil’s sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,–
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.”
- Dulce Et Decorum Est- Wilfred Owen
